Friday, March 31, 2017

Lazy Stones


Having been taught this stuff in school, everyone pretty much knows the three basic types of rock, right? - Sedentary, Metaphoric and Ignorant.


Today I’d like to talk about the Sedentary group. These rocks are the most inactive of all the rock types. Though they have been classified as indolent and torpid, they are not so much slow moving and lethargic as completely motionless. This quality of remaining stationary is sometimes looked for in a rock or stone, however it can be pretty frustrating if you’ve ever tried to move it somewhere else.


Sedentary rocks are like statues, fixed and frozen in place, shiftless. Most other types of stones can be made to work in some situation or other, whether it be in a wall, or even made to do activities where they can work as say millstones or grindstones. These slothful rocks however have never worked a day in their life, not even to make a garden border or a stone curb. They are completely lifeless, and trying to get them to do anything is like trying to get blood from a stone.

Sedentary rocks can be found almost anywhere there is a finished basement or comfortable reckroom. They are often found gathered on shelves. Dug foundations usually have lots of them laying around. They are found mostly in deposits of bedrock, always resting horizontally along the geological bedding plane.

As far as their composition the sedimentary molecular structure is pretty much a shapeless blob. Chemically it reacts to nothing, and on a sub atomic level, is totally inactive. 

The test for sedentary rocks is to dip them in a mild solution of mud and watch them sink to the bottom.

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