No more 'Both Sides Now' !

Let's standardize clouds.

It's just not right that they are all different. 

Some of them are puffy and white.

Some are thin and grey and some are completely irregular and keep changing their shape. 

It's also pretty annoying that we can't always be right about which ones are definitely going to bring rain and which ones are only going to just darken the sky for a while.

We need to regulate them and impose some sort of uniformity. 

Why should clouds insist on all always being so different? 

They rain and snow on everyone.  Some are filled with hail and ice pellets.  Some dust.  Some don't have the foggiest idea what they are up to. Some just defy analysis. 

They all just show up in the sky any time they like, without permission.  Most of them are Maverick clouds, cluttering up the sky, pretending to be 'real' or worse, 'correct' - floating around like they think they are 'special'.  Under what authority are they allowed to be there? 

No. There needs to be a cloud regulatory board that sees to it that clouds meet a certain criteria. No more 'half clouds'. No more 'pseudo clouds'. No more spontaneous temporary clouds. No more low clouds. No more really high clouds. No more dangerous looking clouds. In short, no more 'unprofessional' clouds.  We must bring this originality craze to a halt .    

Clouds should have to pass a test to ensure they know what they are doing.

'Above all', the public must be kept safe.

Clouds should all come under one ruling body of experts. 

Each one needs to be properly inspected and a cloud regulatory program needs to be put in effect. That way we can get them all looking pretty much the same and all the risk will be taken out of anticipating the weather. 

We need to establish an association of cloud aficionados, a clique, a 'members only' club of self-promoting cloud experts who impose their own definition of what's a recognizable acceptable cloud . A group that won't be over shadowed by anything they decide is poor quality or out of the ordinary. 

That way people won't be surprised 'out of the blue'.

Clouds will have to shape up and get with the program. 

Every cloud will be properly identified, commonly defined and then systematically catalogued.

We will be able to look at clouds without any illusions.

We'll only recall a well-organized, subjugated array of 'atmospheric condensations' without any of the troublesome mystery or embarrassing hoopla we associate with them these days. 

Yes it's time to establish our authority and show these puffs of vapour that WE are in control.