Monday, April 19, 2010

Dust in the Windex

With the ash cloud continuing to shut down air travel in Europe, airline companies are talking about having to let go of some of their employees in the next few days. While all that rock and stone which first melted, then exploded and then pulverized into tiny dust particles in the atmosphere may have left travelers stranded, and airline companies scrambling, for those who know how to adapt, there is no need to be alarmed, there may well be new areas of employment mounting up in every corner.

In opening up the earth's crust and scattering all that dust everywhere, Mother Nature has in fact opened up a lot more opportunities in the house cleaning business. Flight attendants who find themselves out of a job, even temporarily, may be able to fill an ever rising demand for efficient, competent people, both in the private and public sectors of the cleaning industry

There will likely be, in the next while at least, a highly qualified work force available to address the growing need created by this international cleaning emergency. Hopefully flight attendants will be able to fill the 'vacuum'.

What sort of safety-conscious, service-oriented, hard-working cleaning ladies (and cleaning men) will they be?

Before we run way ahead of ourselves, let's sit back and relax and try to imagine where all this might take us.

As you try to 'takeoff', the steward or stewardess will stand in the front hall of your house - they will insist on calling it a 'cabin' - to review with you the various cleaning safety instructions and demonstrate among other things: how to secure and properly store various articles around the house, how to use the oxygen mask if the dust is particularly bad, and point out the building's emergency exits.

Their instructions may include many of the items below.

Younger children should be buckled into a child restraint seat or locked in their rooms.
They should not be allowed to run through the cabin. Ample diversions must be provided to keep them entertained.

The pre-wipe instructions will begin with some information about personal belongings.

Residents will be directed to stow their possessions in their proper locations and be reminded to make sure that these cupboards and compartments are securely shut, since things can shift around during vacuuming. If there isn't room in the overhead compartments, occupants are instructed to stow any extraneous articles and knick-knacks beneath the furniture in front of them.

In case of an emergency landing (or balcony) anyone sitting near an exit door will be expected to open it for others.
This will only be necessary in the event of a complete evacuation of the building.
Those coming back in afterwards will be asked to take their shoes off.

Except for the equipment being used by cleaning attendants, all other electronic devices are not to be used during cleaning. Certain devices are barred from use throughout the duration of the operation; these include cell phones, CD players, MP3 players and iPods mostly because you won't be able to hear them over the sound of the vacuum cleaner.

In the event that the appearance of the main cabin has become like, a stable, dust masks will be distributed to everyone in the vicinity and all 'passerbys' are asked to fit them over their mouths and to breathe normally. A routine de-icing procedure for the freezer compartment is provided for all first class clients.

Residents are instructed not to smoke during the duration of the cleaning, and are reminded that they are prohibited from tampering with smoke detectors in the washrooms.

Between the dusting of flights of stairs, shelves and the 'airing out' of the cabin in general, attendants will be coming around offering a choice of tea or coffee. Before they leave, the cleaning staff will come by to pick up any garbage and unwanted newspapers.

Your chairs should be restored to their proper upright positions.

Just before the attendants disembark, you will be courteously reminded to.
"Please check around inside that we haven't taken any of your personal belongings."

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